Get Started with Anal Play: Why You Should Give It a Try
Once upon a time, anal play was one of the biggest taboos in the world of sex, reserved and people were not talking about it.
Today, on the other hand, people are breaking down barriers, exploring the frontiers of their sexuality, and turning old taboos into new ways of experiencing pleasure.
In fact, according to Pornhub, anal videos are one of the most popular content categories.
And from 1960 to 2002, the number of men who’ve engaged in anal sex rose from 9% to 34%, and anal-loving women rose from 28% to 30%.
In other words, anal is now more popular than ever, regardless of one’s gender or sexual orientation.
That said, it’s important to understand that anal play is NOT as simple as conventional sex.
Yes, the motions are more or less the same. But it’s important to take a well-informed and mindful approach to anal, especially if you’re giving it a try for the first time.
Otherwise, you could hurt yourself or your partner, and turn what could be a pleasurable experience into something you’ll never want to talk about again.
Understanding Your Body: Anal Anatomy and Pleasure
One thing that’s great about the anus is that it’s an erogenous zone for everyone. Men and women both have buttholes packed with nerve endings, which can provide a whole world of unique and interesting sensations.
But to turn those sensations into pleasure, it’s important to understand your anal anatomy.
Anal Anatomy: Key Areas to Focus On
We don’t want to replace your Anatomy 101 class, but here’s a breakdown of the body parts you’ll need to focus on.
Butt cheeks – Although they’re not part of the anus, your butt cheeks are sensitive areas that can be teased and pleased right alongside your butthole and other parts.
Perineum and surrounding tissue – The perineum is located between the scrotum or vagina and anus. It’s a highly sensitive area that’s also packed with nerve endings waiting to be pleased.
Anal sphincter – This is your actual butt hole. It’s likely the most sensitive area of your anal anatomy. Your sphincter is a muscle that needs to be relaxed for anal penetration to be pleasurable.
Rectum – This is the inside of your butt. There aren’t many nerve endings here. So it’s important not to focus on stimulating the inside of the anus. Yes, you’ll be able to feel it. But most of the pleasurable sensations come from other sensitive areas, not from the rectum itself.
Prostate – For men, the prostate provides insanely pleasurable, even explosive orgasms. Yes, men can ejaculate solely from prostate stimulation. So if you’re a guy or you want to give a guy the best orgasm of their life, this is your main target. Women, on the other hand, don’t have prostates.
Whether you’re pleasuring yourself or a partner, you need to know that each of these erogenous zones can be pleasured in different ways.
Remember that anal pleasure feels different for everyone. So how you approach anal play will vary from one person to the next.
For some, stimulating the anus itself and surrounding tissue is all that’s needed. But other people might want full-on penetration or prostate massages.
The Benefits of Anal Stimulation
Anal play is interesting in the fact that the anus is not actually designed for sexual pleasure.
Yes, there are nerve endings present in your butt. But a lot of the pleasure associated with anal play comes from the mental aspects of the act.
Some people find anal play fun because it’s risque and naughty. Others might find it hot because of the dominance associated with sodomizing another person. And still others might just like it because it’s taboo and they feel like they’re doing something they shouldn’t.
Either way, there are many physical and psychological benefits of anal stimulation, especially for men.
Studies have even shown that men experience far more intense orgasms through prostate stimulation. According to WebMD, penile orgasms cause between 4 to 8 pelvic contractions, whereas prostate orgasms cause an average of 12.
Getting Ready – Mental and Physical Preparation for Anal Play
Yes, vaginal and oral sex require the person to be prepared.
But because the anus is not a sexual organ, it’s important to be in the right mindset before inserting anything into your or your partner’s butt.
Below, we explore a handful of tips and tricks for relaxing your mind and body.
How To Relax And Prepare Yourself Mentally
The anus is an involuntary muscle. So if the receiver is not relaxed, their sphincter may tighten, causing any type of penetration to be more painful than it has to be.
The mind plays a key role in how the experience will play out. So you want to get yourself excited and interested in the idea of having anal intercourse.
Otherwise, it’s probably not worth trying it.
If you are excited, but also a bit nervous, deep breathing and meditation can help relax your mind and body.
Communicating with Your Partner
Communication is extremely important when it comes to any type of sex. Both partners need to be open, ready, and willing for the experience to be pleasurable.
If you’re the one doing the penetrating, you need to be ready to stop the second your partner says they’re not having a good time.
And if you’re the receiver, you need to clearly communicate to your partner what does and doesn’t feel good.
We also encourage you to talk to your partner before intercourse.
Discuss your needs, expectations, fears, and desires. The more open your communication is, the better your experience can be.
Lubrication: A Key to a Pain-Free Experience
One important thing to understand about the anus is that it doesn’t lubricate itself. So anal sex without proper lubrication WILL lead to pain, injury, and an overall bad experience.
Let’s take a look at the three different types of lubes to help you choose the right one for anal.
- Water-based lube – Most common lubricant out there. They’re easy to wash off and are safe to use with condoms and silicone sex toys. But they do dry out fast and may become sticky.
- Silicone lube – Lasts longer than water-based lubes and they’re water-resistant, making them ideal for anal shower sessions. But they’re usually more expensive and can stain sheets, clothing, and fabrics.
- Oil-based lubes – Thick and long-lasting lubricants. The problem is that they’re not safe to use with condoms. They can also stain fabrics, clog your skin pores, and increase your risk of infections.
Safe Practices: Avoiding Pain and Discomfort
Pain, injuries, and infections are just a handful of the risks associated with anal play. And that’s why it’s important to take a serious approach to doing it right.
One of the best ways to minimize the risk of pain and injuries is to ensure that the person being penetrated has full control. If the experience becomes painful or uncomfortable at any point, they should tell their partner to stop immediately.
Or even if they were interested in trying it, but changed their mind, the whole thing is now a NO-GO!
If it doesn’t feel good in anyway, either mentally or physically, it’s not worth doing!
Mental relaxation, being physically clean and prepared, and using plenty of lube are the best ways to minimize pain and discomfort.
Exploring Toys and Tools for Anal Play Beginners
With the right attitude, almost anything can be an anal sex toy. But there are 4 main categories of sex toys for anal.
Best Toys for Beginners
You may have seen porn videos where guys or girls slide thick dildos or dicks into their asses with ease. Well, those are professionals, and you my friend, aren’t there just yet.
Beginners need to choose smaller toys, and then gradually work their way up.
Luckily, you can find butt plugs, dildos, vibrators, and prostate massagers in all sorts of different shapes and sizes.
You’re free to choose whatever type of toys you want.
But we strongly encourage you to start small, and only size up once your body gets used to the experience.
Anal Sex Positions: Exploring What Works for You
Just like sex toys, there are plenty of positions to choose from when having anal intercourse.
Missionary, doggystyle, cowgirl or reverse cowgirl are all classic sex positions that can be used for anal. However, they usually require a few small tweaks to provide better access to your or your partner’s backdoor.
Best Anal Positions for Beginners
Some positions are better for deeper penetration, whereas others are better for prostate stimulation.
Doggystyle is probably one of the more classic positions used for beginner anal. It gets the receiver’s butt right up there, and allows them to push back for deeper or shallower penetration.
Cowgirl and reverse cowgirl are also great because they give the receiver full control over how fast to thrust and how deep to go.
Regardless, not all sex positions are created equal. So you need to find positions that minimize discomfort and give the receiver plenty of control over when to stop.
Remember, having control can make first-time anal experience that much more pleasurable.
So you’ll feel more confident right up until the end!
When to Stop: Knowing Your Limits
It’s vital to listen to your body and respect your limits. This goes for both the giver and receiver in any sexual situation.
Pain, discomfort, blood… These are all signs that you need to stop immediately.
Discomfort doesn’t necessarily mean you need to stop. In fact, sometimes, a bit of discomfort is why anal-lovers like the experience. But it’s still usually a sign that you need to at least take a break and give your body some time to recover, especially if you’re new to anal.
Listening to your body helps prevent injuries. It also makes it easier to try again in the future!
Anal Play For Newbies – How To Have A Great First Experience
Anal sex can be fun, naughty, and extremely pleasurable. But it’s not as simple as sticking something in your butt and hoping it feels good.
Preparation, communication, and lubrication are the most important aspects of a safe and pleasurable anal experience.
Both partners need to be ready, willing, and excited about the idea. Otherwise, nobody is going to have a good time.
That said, we encourage you to give anal play a try, or at least consider it as something that you might explore in the future.
Anal can help you understand your body, your limits, and how to broaden your sexuality with confidence.
